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Relics, shmelics: the Orthodox bone-worshiping circus is in town!

October 11, 2011 2 comments

Remember the good ol` days? Or should I say “ye goode olde days”, since I`m referring to the Dark Ages, when relic commerce was a flourishing business and any piece of cloth, random body part or splinter of wood could be sold off as a miracle-working relic of some saint or the other?

Think those days are over? Think again! In Romania, the Orthodox church makes a circus out of every occasion it gets to put rotten bones on display for the naive and brainwashed to adore. This is absurd, you might think. No, THIS.IS.ROMANIA!

As I was ranting about in a previous post the biblemongers around here are very prone to asking their imaginary friend in the sky for anything from good grades to lottery numbers. Which is part of the reason why they flock by the hundreds and camp out in front of churches where so-called “holy relics” are put on display.

This creates a grotesque spectacle of human degradation, which is readily enjoyed by the priest-vermin that pat their fat bellies as the masses literally trample each other to get to touch / kiss / lick / rub various body parts on the christian mummies. It has become habitual for the church to send relics around the country, import relics from “sister” churches in other orthodox countries, block traffic in major cities to parade relics and get the naive flock to stampede over who gets to leave their lip-prints on the asses  relics of the holy first.

The most recent such circus-act is happening as I type, in the city of Iasi, eastern Romania. As the date of  her celebration approaches (October 14th), the relics of Saint Parascheva are being taken out of the church and put outside on display, for people to adore her bodily remains in the most disgusting of ways. You could not imagine the amount of bodily fluids that are being exchanged there in the few days that the silver-cast reliquarium is available to the public: saliva, sweat, grease, are all mixed together in a disgusting cocktail that everybody contributes to as they ever-so-sheepishly lean in and kiss or touch the box. The Public Health authorities have warned the church many times about the health hazards this entails, but nobody would listen. More so, the priests were intrigued that one could even assume that something as holy as relics would allow illness. And even said “if you become ill after kissing the relics, it is because your faith is not strong enough.”

Meanwhile, the believers, whose faith in free food, cheap trinkets and the beneficial effects of french-kissing a mummy can not be dwindled by us mere “satanic atheists slave to the masonic conspiracy to overthrow the one true church™” are just now setting up camp in Iasi, training for the stampedes to follow. The local gypsies -turned – salesmen over night are also setting up camp, getting ready to sell plastic trinkets and cheesy icons and overpriced candles to the masses.  The obese filthy rich members of the clergy are also getting ready to watch the show from the best seats in the house, so there’s nothing left to do but wait for the circus to start.

My theist acquaintances (and even random strangers who somehow find out about my beliefs, or lack thereof) say to me frequently that I am somehow angry at their god, which is why I`m such a blasphemer and an atheist. I reply as frequently with two arguments: a) one cannot be angry at something that doesn’t exist, unless one suffers from serious mental health issues, and b) I do not have a problem with believers. Matter of fact, I will advocate freedom of thought any day (within the limits of common sense and the law; see here what happens when this is abused). What I do have a problem with, and always will have, is idiocy. I cannot idly stand by and watch fellow human beings degrade themselves, humiliate themselves publicly, expose themselves to risk, let their brains wither and die from lack of use, all in order to uphold their anachronistic, medieval faiths.

In closing, I leave you with this funny piece of material I found floating around the interwebs a couple of weeks ago, and I think it goes well with the topic of religious public circus that I`ve discussed herein.

religion

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